Life feels more real now than ever before. I’m on edge of anticipation. I’m right there waiting for things to be revealed to me. I am living out my best right now and holding nothing back.
I’m all in. I’m living with no regrets. Part of me hates it. That part of me would rather be chilling out and not stretching and growing. Growing pains hurt, especially when they involve living on the edge of trust.
I think this is what happens when you go all in with God and hold nothing back. He doesn’t promise that it will be easy, but He does say to come and follow Him.
I can honestly say that the last 3 years since moving from PA have held some of the most difficult and painful moments. I will also hold that this time has brought some of the most rewarding moments of my life.
This up and down ebb and flow is a natural part of following. I don’t have it all figured out (far from it!) but I know that going to my knees in surrender is leading me day by day to my bigger purpose.
If a more comfortable path was before me, I’d be tempted to go that way. Being on the edge of dependence upon God for all things is exhausting! I’ve learned the goodness of God’s provision and his leading hand in my life, and I will choose this way.
It’s scary to give it all up, but the alternative is even more frightening. I urge you not to wait until the “right time” but dive into your destiny now before it’s too late. It may not be the right time to jump, but at some point you will need to step out in faith.
The Ebb and Flow
Miranda and I often talk about the up and down nature of our lives the last few years. We have been in some high highs and some really low lows. But this is what makes life worth living! I refuse to live a flatline life. Bring on the growth!
I embrace the challenge and welcome the fact that there will be points in which I am so beaten down I want to quit. It’s worth it for the goodness that will come in eternity, but also for the real life everyday wins as well.
You won’t stay down forever, but sometimes it takes some downtime to fully realize the good. It can take a loss to appreciate what we have.
I write this, yet I am in a homebody through and through. I am not an adventurous person! The thought of going to Thailand for two months freaks me out. Literally, as I write this I’m wondering what the heck I’m thinking…
But I’ve come to see the truth in the wandering. There is so much joy to be had when we are willing to let it all go and embrace a grander vision.
This past January of 2018 was our worst month financially ever. I’ll be honest here, we made right around $1000 total, between us. That’s it. Talk about an ebb right? We were down in the dumps and questioning everything.
Good thing Miranda is an amazing partner. Never once did she look at me funny or blame me or make it “my job” to provide. I’m lucky to have her.
Of course as a man, I felt the pressure to provide. I think it’s in my blood. But Miranda has ever been a team player. It’s always been “what are we going to do?” “How are we going to fix this?”
So what did we do? We gave extra to our church to help with their financial needs. You might be thinking… “What!?”
I share this to paint a picture of the power of giving and trusting, even when it doesn’t make sense.
We gave extra when it seemed as if we would soon have nothing. And you know what? Every month thereafter we hit, or were very close to budget. God says to test him in one area only, and that is to give beyond our means. I believed it before, and now I am even more convinced.
Have you seen the Pixar movie Inside Out? (If you haven’t, make plans, it’s excellent and one of my favorites) In the movie each person has 5 personality islands. Giving Island is one of mine and this past year has solidified that. I hope to keep it strong!
God has power to provide for all needs, but I think we need to give when it’s hardest to fully realize this. Let’s take a quick look at this story from the Bible:
“He sat down opposite the treasury and observed how the crowd put money into the treasury. Many rich people put in large sums. A poor widow also came and put in two small coins worth a few cents. Calling his disciples to himself, he said to them, ‘Amen, I say to you, this poor widow put in more than all the other contributors to the treasury. For they have all contributed from their surplus wealth, but she, from her poverty, has contributed all she had, her whole livelihood.’ Mark 12: 41-44 NAB
If we go all in with him and lift our lives up in prayer daily, we can’t go wrong. This total dependence and trust is hard to maintain, but the goodness that comes from it is well worth it!
I’ll leave you with three things I found ridiculously helpful over the past 3 years:
Pray. Work. Give.
Pray as if it depends on God, because it absolutely does. Work as if it depends on you, because it also does. And never forget to give beyond your means and ability.